least her heads still attached to her body

i'm on the pursuit of hapiness,

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:53:26 GMT

god damn it.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:51:16 GMT

i am such a fucking idiot.

the mind is a jar into which space is poured.

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 23:42:57 GMT

The Universe is filled with mindscapes: oceans and islands of thought, continents that ripple with canyons and sierras of joy and fear. The mind is studded with stars. The mind is a jar into which space is poured. The Universe is a convoluting brain. The Universe is, therefore it thinks. It thinks me. I am, therefore I am thought. The Universe and I is One.

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 17:59:57 GMT

and btw,

Sat, 16 May 2009 07:28:53 GMT

this journal is pretty much friends only. but i'll probably add whoever if anyones really interested.

tummy ache.

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 19:16:00 GMT

i love it when it rains. it doesn't rain enough here, but today its storming. i got paid today, and bought some stuff. took lecia and trent out to lunch. now i've got to get ready for work. thats pretty much all my life has been lately, working and hanging out and sleeping. tomorrow is marley fest, though, which potentially might not happen because of the rain. but oh well, it'll be all good, everything has been pretty fine these days. i'm kind of waiting for changes, waiting for things to get a move on.

fresh out the showa.

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 23:41:07 GMT

today has been amazing so far. i woke up early, picked up my paycheck and went to wal mart to get stuff for a picnic. and then we went to the lake! chris, lecia, isaac, isaias, emma, michael, nolan, trent and i. i love all of them so much and i'm so glad everyone was there. the water was absolutely freezing, but it was hot enough outside. just sitting there and hanging out and eating food was great. my legs are kind of bruised from jumping off the ledge so many times.
i can't forget to pay my phone bill today. and i still have to pay my parents back more. and trent. i'm poor, but i'm happy. (:
i think we're going to the park, late today. we might play soccer or basketball or something, and finish off the food we didn't eat for lunch. i love fridays. i love days off.

life is only a dream.

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:14:07 GMT

today was a really beautiful day. trent woke me up by throwing rocks at my window. i took a shower and we went to the train tracks to sit and listen to music and talk. nolan met up with us and we walked through the field behind the tracks and into the trees and just kind of wandered around and talked and smoked. chris came a little after, and we all just sort of chilled at the trains. its so nice outside, in the upper 70s with a breeze and a couple clouds in the sky.
it really makes me not want to go to work. but at least i won't be there for too long tonight. i need to go eat something before i go in.

she's turning blue.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 05:52:51 GMT

all these hours are catching up with me. i'm so tired all the time. i did a bible study with my parents today. i really just do it for the sake of spending time with them, because i love them so much and i feel like i don't see them as often as i used to. for some reason i don't really believe in god. i can't really remember when i actually stopped... moving out has been postponed. i suppose its for the best. so i can save up money and get a car and so my future roommates can get jobs. i'm excited. it gives me a little more time to pay my parents back for school too.
i wish i read more. i've been thinking about that lately. i have work tomorrow at nine in the morning. i keep staying up too late.
but really, its all right. i'm so thankful i have a job. the job market is sucking really bad right now here. i feel really bad sometimes for a few of my friends that don't have jobs; they're trying hard but not making any headway.
i really missed spending time with lecia, i'm glad we're spending more time together again. and all the crazy people i've been hanging out with over the past few days, i love them all so much.

last words on the matter.

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:19:17 GMT

i don't need overemotional people in my life. i might be your only friend, but you aren't mine. and now you don't even have me anymore. you wonder why you don't have any friends. its kind of obvious to me and every single other human being in the world.

but i don't really care. i'll get over it, i'll move on, and you're going to be miserable.
so you kind of fucked yourself, there, sweetheart.

sometimes its really weird.

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 21:54:41 GMT

i have a hard time telling the difference between whats actually happening and what i've been dreaming. it seems like life doesn't just move in chronological order. i feel really confused all the time. just kind of lost, going through the motions.

i got new glasses yesterday.

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 12:29:59 GMT

trent is back from arkansas.

i'm not really sure how i feel and
i can't really make up my mind on anything
listening to the clock ticking makes me wonder
how should i react?
does it annoy me? frustrate or disconcert me?
i guess i just don't care
i don't really care about much anymore
my friends and my family, always
but everything seems so small, so pointless
nothing i do or say will matter in the end
i keep jumping from subject to subject
maybe i'm just really high
or maybe just really fucked up
crazy, whatever

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 13:58:47 GMT

"For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons."

tangerine rinds

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:26:43 GMT

today I've had this pervasive nausea thats made it nearly impossible to get out of bed. I woke up and started putting on clothes and makeup and whatnot, and I only made it about halfway through before giving up.
I'll get back to it when Kirsty calls me. we're supposed to hang out when she gets out of school. her (more or less) exact words were 'lets get super blowed'.

i never really realized how addicted i was to stumble. day before yesterday i stayed up until like six or seven in the morning just wandering around the internet. i need to brush my teeth. and finish getting dressed.
i started a real diary. one that i can actually write in and draw pictures in and what not. i started it two days ago or so. i'm still going to keep this, but i hardly keep up with this thing anyway, so we'll see what happens.

okay.

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:30:12 GMT

-do laundry
-clean room
-take a shower
-call ikea

bleh. i'm so sleepy!

i don't know where this year went.

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:37:00 GMT

its already december.
what the fuck.

lasdkfajisodfjnasjd

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 09:25:20 GMT

i got fired from my job about two weeks ago. i don't really know what else is going on in my life. everything is just crazy. the world just doesn't make any sense at all sometimes.

i love how you make me feel but i can't help but notice everything starts to break down its the way you effect me you fuck with my head you fuck with my body you fuck with who i am and yet i just can't help but notice everything ends up confusing i love how i feel i absolutely love this feeling but i know i'm going to hate tomorrow.

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 05:15:53 GMT

i'm going to be a gypsy for halloween. i've even got fortune cards. (:

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:26:44 GMT

"Maggie, you are beautiful. You are wonderful and brilliant. You are more fantastic than anything known to man. You can see the stars and be the trees. You are so many different things, but all good things. Only good things. No matter what anyone tells you, always stay exactly the way you want to be. Only ever be what you want. I love you."

-my best friend

my tongue is mostly healed. my new job is awesome.

my tongue is swollen

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:35:57 GMT

i got my tongue pierced tuesday. i love it. a lot. but its really swollen and sore.
i start my new job on tuesday, and my last day at this sandwich shop is on sunday. i called in sick today. i love fridays. and my mom is coming back tomorrow. it feels like she's been gone for a very long time.
i really want to party. it feels like every night and every day has been the same, this cycle of school and work and getting stoned. which i don't mind, but i am dying for some diversity.

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 07:32:02 GMT

so i haven't been able to really think lately. my brain has been getting scrambled, and i've been mixing up my words and my thoughts. I don't know if who I am is who i want to be. I really love my life right now, I feel so free at this point in time. I feel as if i have complete control over who I am, and what I do. i know its not necessarily true, considering work and school and my family and friends, but ultimately I am in control, and it feels wonderful. I feel so alive at this point in my life. i can feel everything all the time, and I'm learning so much about the world. Its hard, and its a little scary, and I know these next few months are going to be really difficult, but I can't wait to move out and support myself. I can't wait for this new job to start, and I can't wait to finish school. I'm so grateful to my family for taking care of me for so long, and to my friends for caring and sharing with me so much. so many september birthdays, nolan and ted and melanie and sarah. happy birthday all.
gotta write a history paper, i can't forget. my mom left for maine today, and my dad and sisters are leaving for san antonio on thursday.
i feel so scatterbrained. i also quit smoking cigarettes. because lecia is now addicted and i don't want to get addicted.

i'm just bad at making habits.

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:25:10 GMT

at least new habits. i've been going to class, and i really enjoy them. i got a job at a sandwich shop, which i do not enjoy at all. but yesterday i got offered a job at half price books! full time, too, around 40 hours a week. i can't wait to start there.
i'm going to go spend the night with kirsty and this girl ashley downtown tonight. i've really wanted to spend time with her, she seems like such a cool person. and we're going to trip together, its going to be great.
lecia is at work, trents still in arkansas, but he got his g.e.d. and a job, too. i'm not sure what else, right now i'm waiting for my hair to dry.
there was a hurricane! we didn't get hit by it but we've got tons of evacuees here, like in the high schools and stuff. and its supposed to rain pretty bad tomorrow. i'm excited. i love the rain, and its been so long since we've gotten a good storm!

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:56:52 GMT

lecia keeps making me look bad. she got a job at ikea, if she passes the drug test, which she should. i'm so proud of her, she's had a lot of disappointment recently, so she deserves all the good things in the world. last night we went downtown to karma lounge, and it wasn't very cool because there weren't a lot of people there, but i was happy as fuck. i took half a roll and a hit of acid, so i was set all night and into the wee hours of the morning. i really need to shower, and then i think i'm going to go chill with some friends. i start school tomorrow, bright and early, 7:45 am! i'm so excited, i got my books yesterday and it makes this whole college thing more real. now all i need is a job. a job would just be the cherry on top of my sundae that is life right now.

20 dollar.

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 17:22:11 GMT

War war war, talking bout you all is such a bore, I'd rather talk about moi.
Do you know that cost of a.ks up in Africa? 20 dollars ain't shit to you but that's how much they are.
So they gonna use the shit just to get far.

Is girls, diamonds, helping you? Don't you like my bandanna? My stains hang low on my shirts like ay yai ay monkey brains and banana, I'll hit you with my antana, I put soap in my eye Make it red so I look raa

Ra ra. So I woke up with my holy quran and found out I like Cadillac.
So we shooting till the song is up, little boys are acting up.
Baby mothers are going crazy, and the leaders all round cracking up, we goat rich we fry.
Price of living in a shanty town just seem very high
We still like T.I.
We still look fly
Dancing as we shooting up
And lootin just to get by.

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground, try this trick and spin it, yeah.
Your head'll collapse if there's nothing in it and you'll ask yourself
"Where is my mind?"

War war war, who made me like this
was it me and god in co-production
my devil's on speed dial
everytime I take the wrong direction

All I want is one thing and that is what you got, sometimes I go lose my mind then I feel numb

There's 24 hours in a day
I used to spilt it 8, 8, 8
8 work, 8 sleep, 8 for play
Now I give it all it takes

People on the Internet, a new life for the intellect
People judge me so hard, 'cause I don't floss my titty set
I was born out of dirt like I'm porn in a skirt, I was a little girl who made good with all that I blurt. I put people on the map that never seen a map, I show 'em somthing they ain't never seen
And hope they make it back!!!!

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head'll collapse if there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
"Where is my mind?"

its thursday. i never could quite get the hang of thursdays.

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:30:10 GMT

i think i was conned into going shopping downtown with lecia and kirsty.
and hopefully eventually going to the bookstore mit meine mutter to get my books for school.
annnnd who knows what else. my foot is itchy. and i have a blister on my hand! D:

the world goes on and on and on.
i'm so excited about the rave on the 30th. but a little worried too.
i'll supply a vehicle, but i don't know how i'm going to get money for gas or to get in or for goodies.
it'll all fall into place, though, i'm sure. (: